The Ups and Downs of Yuffie and Her Playstation
by BruHaeven
Summary: Yuffie receives a PS2 for her birthday...and drags Vincent along with her into the gamer world. Will she ever share the controls with him or will he be forced to simply watch her antics day after day? semi-related drabbles. Not-so-slight YxV
1. Final Fantasy X

(AN: This is just a little bit of randomness that came to me a while ago and I figured, "Why not?" It seemed like a good idea at the time…we'll see what I think when I'm done with it I suppose… WARNING Spoilers for Final Fantasy X if you haven't beaten it, or don't know how it ends…ONWARD!!!)

Vincent was slightly intrigued by Yuffie's antics. Only slightly though…at least, that's what he told himself. The small ninja had received a PS2 for her birthday and was now feverishly trying to play a game titled "Final Fantasy X". She had just purchased the game the day before, and Vincent couldn't remember her leaving the plaid couch in front of the big screen TV in Tifa's bar since. The bags under her eyes confirmed his theories, as did the Red Bull cans scattered around the couch and the gum wrappers strewn in her lap. Still her fingers moved melodically along the buttons and joysticks on the black controller. A cut scene came on and Yuffie relaxed, watching as the brunette girl and the blonde boy made eye contact for the first time; while behind Yuffie, Vincent sighed. He could predict the rest of the game from here, the guy and girl fall in love while trying to save the world, nothing seriously bad happens to either of them, they go on to save the world together, and it is assumed that following the games conclusion, they get married and have lots of sex and babies. With a swish of his cape, he left the room, not noticing how Yuffie followed his movements out of the corners of her eyes.

The next day, as Vincent was passing by the TV room to exit the bar, planning on going out for a walk, he heard Yuffie's high pitched voice came screeching from her makeshift home on the couch.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! HOW COULD THEY DO THAT? UGH HOW CAN SHE KISS SEYMOUR, HE'S MORE WOMANLY THAN I AM!! Not that that's exactly saying much…he probably has bigger boobs but…HE'S MORE WOMANLY THAN TIFA!!!!! Okay…maybe not….but STILL!!!" Now Vincent was interested. He silently entered the room where Yuffie had set up camp for the past few days and watched as the brunette girl from earlier seemingly got married to the…wait a minute…that wasn't the blonde guy…

Now the pseudo-vampire had to admit, this was a twist he hadn't expected. He focused his crimson eyes on the screen as the wedding proceeded, there was some fighting in between, and then the girl threw herself off a cliff, only to be caught by some birdlike creature. Yuffie slammed her body into the back of the couch and pouted.

"Is something the matter?"

"Vinnie, how could Square do that to poor Yunie and Tidus? It's obvious they're in love, and they just forced her to marry stupid Seymour, who's ugly and more womanly than me and Tifa combined, and yeah!"

Vincent blinked. He didn't understand how Yuffie could be so emotional and not physically explode. If _he_ had that many emotions, he was sure his brain would be leaking out his ears. By now Yuffie had grabbed Vincent's shoulders and was trying her hardest to shake him.

"And…AND! HE'S LIKE SOME FREAKISH UNDEAD THING! I mean, nothing against undead Vampires or anything, but I mean, you don't have a blue veiny face and weird blue hair, and creepy crawly tattoos that look like armpit hair on your chest! You're at least hot!" Realizing that she had thrown that last bit in, Yuffie released Vincent, clapped a hand to her mouth, turned back to the TV and ran the pixilated character in a circle. "Oh, look at that! A random encounter! Heh, heh, nothing out of the ordinary here!" Her blush matched Vincent's cloak.

"Yuffie, for the last time, I am NOT a vampire." Vincent turned and went out for his walk. After his exit, the shin obi wiped her brow with a slight "phew."

One specific night stood out to Vincent however. Always a light sleeper, he got up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. As he was exiting the kitchen, he heard Yuffie sigh contentedly from the next room. For some reason unbeknownst to him, Vincent found his legs taking him towards the music from the game, and seating him on the couch next to the ninja. He regarded the TV as the two main teenagers had a conversation, which of course ended in a kiss. Yuffie smiled in a bittersweet way.

"See Vinnie? That's what I want someday…a guy who loves me enough to try and save my life…that's true love right there…" As Vincent watched her face illuminated by the bluish light from the television, for the first time in a while, the subject of love didn't bring Lucrecia into his mind.

However, the most memorable night during Yuffie's videogame/insomnia stint was the night she beat the game. He heard her anguished sobs from upstairs. In fact, it could probably be heard from all over town. Walking into her "room" he found her curled on the couch, crying her eyes out. When he made his presence known, she immediately latched onto him with her death grip, burying her head in his cape. Not really knowing what to do, Vincent patted her back a little awkwardly. He had never been one for displays of affection, after all.

"Vinnie! They saved the world, they saved Yunie and then he left! He just…disappeared! They got their happy ending, for like two seconds and then he left her! He just…faded away…and they were in love…and he's gone…and…he didn't even say he loved her too!"

"Well, I suppose love isn't something that endures easily…"

Yuffie snorted bitterly. "Tell me something I don't know…" the gunslinger raised and eyebrow at this.

"…You're in love with someone…?"

"Yeah…I am…have been for a while now. He'll never noticed though…but…as long as I can be there for him, then I can be happy." She walked away from him then, and if Vincent's guess was correct, the tears she wiped away weren't solely for the ending of the game.

Yuffie went into mourning for a week. Literally. She took to humming the Hymn of the Fayth almost constantly while sitting in her room, surrounded by burning candles, and she wore a black veil all the time. But when she finally did come out of her room, she brushed past everyone in the house, and went out to "get a little something." When she returned, she was in much better spirits.

"VINNIE!!! LOOK!!!" She was waving something in his face, a grin the size of Midgar splashed across her face.

Vincent carefully took the box from her and read the title. Final Fantasy X-2. It was going to be another long week.

(AN: Okay, so I know it's random, but I thought it was kinda cute, and I just wanted to post it and see what happened…I might make this into a two-shot if I get some feedback. I know, it's a little rushed, but this was kind of an experiment…so…deal with the rushness, lol. Reviews are always appreciated, and you might get cookies along with a second chapter. XD)


	2. Final Fantasy X2

Disclaimer: Sadly…I don't own Yuffie, Vincent, Final Fantasy VII or X…T.T

I managed to forget page breaks the first time I posted this, which is why there were two different postings...damn you invisible page breaks...

WARNING! THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR FINAL FANTASY X AND X-2. You have been warned so…READ ON! XD

* * *

More than once during the weeks following Yuffie's procuring of Final Fantasy X-2, Vincent found himself drawn to her side on the couch. It was not a peaceful way to spend his time, nor was it quiet, but for some reason the gunslinger found himself relaxing in the ninja's presence.

Yuffie, on the other hand, was not feeling relaxed in the slightest. She wanted the perfect ending,_ dammit_, and may the wrath of Leviathan curse anyone who dared get in her way of 100. She had rambled to Vincent about how important it was to get that perfect score during the game, and if his guess was correct, the crumpled papers in her lap contained a walkthrough of the game. She was a woman obsessed.

As the game's plot proceeded, Vincent's concentration began to shift away from the screen and towards the young woman seated beside him on the couch. Yuffie was indeed an intriguing person. She would switch from being relaxed on the couch one second, the only visible motion coming from her thumbs as she controlled the characters to completely energetic the next, leaning forward with her eyes fixed intensely on the screen before her and hands steering the controller all over the place. Vincent knew to expect the changes when a boss fight kicked in, although the learning curve had to be established in the beginning. He had been hit with a few stray elbows before he began to recognize what music cued a boss.

Profanity that he once would have frowned at began to make the crimson-clad gunman smile as he observed Yuffie screaming at the screen when the characters didn't obey her, or when an enemy did something they weren't "allowed" to do. She snickered when she though she found way to "cheat the system," something Vincent wasn't altogether sure he understood, and whined when her sneaky plans backfired.

The times that Vincent _did_ pay attention to the plot, he felt an urge to bring out Cerberus and fire a couple rounds into the screen. It was all a little too sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice for his serious character. However, even when the storyline was almost too sugary to bear, Vincent stayed. At first he didn't know _why_ he stayed, but soon he realized that the moments when he was away from the small, gamer-ninja, he wondered how she was, if she had gotten past that particularly hard dungeon that he had "abandoned" her in. At times he was not sure if it was the game that intrigued him, or its mistress.

There was one character who Vincent found he really did like. Out of the three main girls, Yuna, Rikku and Paine, Vincent was most drawn to…Rikku. He vaguely remembered her from the first game, and her bouncy energy and perky attitude reminded him of a certain someone. Yuffie was more drawn to the character of Paine, the brooding girl who was much more sarcastic and dark than the other two.

"She kind of reminds me of Auron…ya know, from the last game? Gawd, when he…disappeared at the end…_that_ killed me more than Tidus leaving." Yuffie explained to Vincent when he asked about her preference for the darker character.

"And what was so…special about Auron that you mourned more for him than the tragic love story?" Vincent was always curious about Yuffie's reasons for things. She was really a deep girl, if you spent the time getting past her hyper exterior.

"Well…" Yuffie placed a finger to her chin, setting the controller aside. "He reminds me of…someone." A blush crept over her cheeks as she looked away from Vincent's ruby eyes. "Ya see, he's the oldest in the group, and the smartest and wisest and the most serious and he always knows what's going on, only he doesn't say any more than needs to be said." A wolfish grin found its way to Yuffie's lips. "_Plus_, he has got some _niiice_ biceps, and he's the best fighter, and his scar is pretty freaking sexy."

There went Yuffie's depth.

"But Vinnie, why do you like Rikku so much? I figured you'd be a Paine kinda guy, what with her black leather and sarcasm and borderline emo-ness."

Vincent pondered for a moment. "I don't know. I'm just…drawn to her personality, I suppose." The shinobi's face was completely blank as she drank in those words before grinning once again.

"Well then, Vinnie McVinsters, we have to find you your own perky blonde chick! …Once I beat this game that is…" And then her concentration was back on the game, or so Vincent thought. As he turned away, trying to hide his smile, he missed her eyes flickering to him before going back to the game with a tiny smirk.

To be honest, when Yuffie reached the end of the game, Vincent really had no idea what was going on with the plot. But he knew that it something good was happening after the final boss was beaten and a cutscene was playing, because Yuffie starting grinning that grin of hers, and a high pitched squeal erupted from her throat. Vincent cringed a little as the sound nearly shattered his eardrums. Glancing away from Yuffie's face, the gunslinger fixed his eyes upon the TV in front of them, as a blond head broke through the surface of the water in the virtual world. Recognition flared up as Vincent recognized the main character from the previous game, the one who had disappeared leaving his love—and Yuffie—in tears.

And of course—because all games need a happy ending, even if the ending has to wait until the sequel to be resolved—the two young lovers were reunited after two long years of separation, and vowed to cherish each other until the end of time. The end, happy life, hope you get married and have lots of kids.

Vincent found it hard to scoff and the ending, because it was rather sweet. As the credits played out before the two companions on the couch, Yuffie flung herself into Vincent's lap with a loud giggle. To Vincent's credit, even though she caught him off guard, he didn't stiffen or flinch away. Instead he sighed, but let her stay there, worming her way into his arms. It was a strange gesture for the man to let her stay there.

"See, Vinnie? That's love, right there. Even after he faded away to nothing, she never gave up on him. And even though she changed a bunch over the two years, he still loves her for all her new quirks. Plus…you can just tell they're in love. Although…I wish Auron would've come back too. He was my crush from this game…" she trailed off glumly.

"Well, didn't you say you loved someone during the previous game?" Vincent inquired with an odd feeling rising in his chest.

Yuffie's smile dimmed a little. "Yup! But he's still being a moron, and has no idea that I even think of him as anything other than a friend. I swear to gawd, you men are oblivious."

Vincent smirked behind his collar. Oblivious, huh?

"Well, I have a suspicion that your real-life Auron will always come back to you."

Yuffie hesitated before glancing up at Vincent's expression. "Yeah well…umm… so Vinnie, what about finding you a blonde haired, green-eyed babe, huh?"

Pulling Yuffie off his lap so he could stand to his full height, the gunslinger looked down at her. "I don't think so Yuffie. I was always went for black-haired, grey-eyed ninjas." And with a swish of his cape, he was gone, leaving the gaping, blushing Yuffie to stare after him.

"HEY! IF YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALK AWAY AFTER THAT—VINCENT! YOU SAID YOU'D ALWAYS COME BACK YOU IDIOT!" Yuffie hurtled off the couch and after her real-life Auron. Why did both men have to disappear so easily? She just hoped that Vincent really would keep his word, and always come back to her.

* * *

(AN: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and asked for a second chapter! This chapter is dedicated to all of you: chibified kitsunes, Simple Simplicity, robertmarilyn, redlei, my awesone cousin Otaku Dreamer, xyuffiex, Kami Strife, WaveRider 53, and bladeprincess9, you guys ROCK! I was actually thinking that this could turn out to be more than just a two-shot and I could bring in some more video games for Yuffie to obsess over…R&R and tell me what you think! Oh, and sorry for any typos, I kind of rushed through this to get to the fluff XD) 


	3. Final Fantasy VIII

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing. I do however own a Vincent plushie, so that's gotta count for something…right? …right? RIGHT?!

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR FINAL FANTASY VIII AHEAD

* * *

Vincent was uncomfortable, to say the least. For one thing, he had a grinning ninja staring at him with gleaming eyes that seemed too bright to be anything but mischievous, and in addition to that, his gloved hand and metal gauntlet were wrapped around a small, black Playstation controller. He preferred a gun.

"Go on…" Yuffie urged, "Just hit that button there to start."

"Yuffie, I really don't think—" he began, but the girl huffed and cut him off.

"Vinnie McVinsters, _really_! It's just a videogame…and you don't have to hold the controller so far away from your body…it's not gonna bite you, I swear."

Vincent continued to look dubiously at the black plastic mechanism in his hand, and back to the Start Screen on the television.

"Vincent. I'm starting you at the beginning…you'll barely have to do any fighting, and the battle system's easy! So no pressure. Just…push…that…button!" Yuffie beamed up at the gunslinger who tried to return the smile in his own small way. It fell flat when he remembered what she was trying to get him to do. He was about to refuse again when his resolve was wavered by the most abominable force known to mankind. The Puppy Eyes.

Yuffie's gray eyes were wide in her face and her lip trembled. Two fat tears glistened at the corners of her eyes as she looked up through her eyelashes.

"Please, Vincent? Tifa wouldn't play with me earlier 'cause she was too busy making kissy faces at Cloud, and the spiky-headed jerk was cleaning Fenrir, and Barret took Marlene to the Gold Saucer, and Reeve is still upgrading Cait Sith to make him fly, and Cid just called me a dumb brat when I asked, and Red doesn't have thumbs…so _please?_" Yuffie's lower lip jutted out slightly and she sighed dejectedly.

"So…I see. I'm simply your last resort." Vincent smirked as he pressed the Start button and watched the ninja's face light up.

"Never, Vinnie! You're my bestbest buddy, silly! I just knew you would be the hardest to convince which is why I saved you for last! But even you can't resist the Patented Yuffie Puppy Eyes. It's okay, don't feel bad…no man can." She grinned up at him and turned her attention to the television screen in front of them. Vincent gazed at her for one long moment before his eyes followed hers to the opening cutscene playing out. It was confusing, shifting from an ocean to a field of flowers to two young men battling, and throughout there was text scrolling—someone promising to be waiting for another person. It ended with the two battling swordsmen both sporting new scars, _Final Fantasy VIII _flashed across the screen briefly, and then the game began. As the character lay in the infirmary, Yuffie sighed happily.

"Squall…" She nudged the gunslinger next to her. "He's a lot like you, Vinnie. Broody and angsty and all that jazz. If he was real and you guys ever met you'd probably be best friends and then I'd get shoved out of your life because you'd be with each other all the time having playdates that eventually turn into hot, kinky Bromance. And then I'd cry and cry and cry, but you wouldn't care because you'd be too busy arguing with Squall over whether a gunblade qualifies as a gun or not. Which of course, it doesn't because guns are totally more sexy, and I'd rather have a gunslinger than a swordsman any day, 'cause swordsmen are always preoccupied with length versus girth, and all gunslingers really gotta worry about is power, precision and whether they can be loud or not." She giggled at the vulgarity of her statement, before snuggling up to Vincent's side. She stayed there for Vincent's first boss battle against Ifrit, cursing vehemently to make up for his silence. She was still present during the obnoxiously long GF tutorial babbling away about how if Vincent was annoyed now, just wait until some of the later tutorials. Throughout the SeeD mission to Dollet, Yuffie watched carefully—reminding Vincent to Draw Siren from the Elvoret at the top of the tower and helping him maneuver all during the crazy Spider-Bot chase. Yuffie was a constant presence at Vincent's elbow, cheering him on, teasing him, helping him, making fun of his concentrated silences all the way up to the ballroom scene. As soon as Squall and the mysterious brunette began dancing, she was jumping around the room squealing.

"LOOK! VINNIE _LOOK!!_ Can you see it?! They're in love!" The scene ended and the shinobi was back at Vincent's side, gripping his arm and biting her lip with excitement.

"Yuffie…haven't you played this game before?" Vincent asked, one brow raised quizzically as he stared down at the ninja and her excited antics.

"Yeah! But it gets better every time! I mean, okay it's kinda dumb how at the beginning she's all 'you're gooooiiiiiiiingggggg to liiiiiiiiike meeeeeeee,' but still, after that it's like…he's so hopeless at dancing, but then he just looks into her eyes and she smiles at him, and then all of a sudden it's like everything falls into place for him… I think that's gotta be what makes love so awesome. Because, as long as the other person is there, it doesn't matter how horrible your situation is, or how bad you are at something… everything's still gonna be alright. Just 'cause they're there…everything falls into place."

Vincent watched Yuffie describe all this with an unfathomable look in his crimson eyes. She looked off into the distance, seeing things beyond the walls and gestured with her hands, and Vincent was speechless. Not that silence was out of the ordinary for the gunman, but usually it was by choice, not because he was at a legitimate loss for words. As her speech came to a close, Yuffie met his eyes questioningly.

"What? What's wrong?" He simply shook his head as her eyes grew more worried. "Vinnie…why are you looking at me like that?"

The controller clattered to the floor and the game lay forgotten as Vincent closed the small distance between himself and Yuffie, covering her lips with his own. The ninja didn't even take a moment to be surprised, she just sank into the kiss, one hand tangling lazily in his hair as he gently cradled her cheek. It was a calm, languid kiss, not a heated violent affair—the energy in the room was too tranquil and comfortable for that sort of carrying on.

After a minute or two, they both pulled back, watching the other. Yuffie broke the silence first.

"What in Gaia's name was that for?" She asked a little breathlessly. Vincent smiled softly back before answering.

"Everything just fell into place." He reached down to retrieve the controller on the ground only to have it swatted out of his hands as Yuffie hurled herself into his chest.

She grinned as they both toppled backwards onto the plush cushions of the couch. "You can finish that later." Yuffie purred before claiming his lips again.

* * *

(AN: Alright, alright…I know it's been like 7 billion years since this was updated, but blame it on a very persistent case of writer's block…buuut, seeing as I'm on summer break now, this should be getting updated more frequently XD. Anyhoo, this chapter is dedicated to robertmarilyn who wanted Vinnie at the controls, and Snipergal7 who wanted a kiss. Thanks also go out to…..Drumroll my amazing cousin Nevermore.Neverwhore., Jean V., budibudi, DarogaDaae, JingYee, redlei, Smallfont, midnight 1987, Chaotic Angel7, and xyuffiex!! THANKS SO MUCH YOU GUYS! Any requests for games could possibly be taken into consideration, but I've already got a couple more on the list…after we wrap up VIII that is…until next time! XD)


	4. FEAR

It's baaack! XD

* * *

Yuffiewas pretty confident that she was going to pee her pants any second. Vincent's mansion was completely immersed in darkness save for the television flickering in front of her. Vincent had long since gone to sleep upstairs, since it happened to be somewhere in the realms of three in the morning. Basically, Yuffie felt very alone and very, _very_terrified. She cursed under her breath, regretting buying this stupid video game. Possibly regretting not returning her Playstation after getting it for her birthday. Maybe even regretting being born at all. But _definitely _regretting buying the game.

She supposed they called it F.E.A.R. for a reason.

While Yuffie realized that many people might see her as a creepy, dark-haired, little girl, the creepy, dark-haired, little girl in _this_game was a freaking menace! And Yuffie wasn't _that _creepy. Only when she sneak-attacked people in the middle of the night. Or tried to catch Vinnie changing, but seriously, who _wouldn't _wanna see that?

But back to the matter at hand. As soon as she got comfortable in guiding her badass character around the dilapidated buildings of the game, that stupid, psycho, _SKETCHY_little girl would pop up and the game would get all laggy, and the screen would go red and sometimes get all bloody and it was really taking a toll on Yuffie's bladder control, especially since the TV room in Vinnie's house made weird noises. Actually, the whole of Vinnie's house made weird noises, but that was beside the point.

The worst part was that Yuffie was only twenty or so minutes into the game! She had already seen one dude eating people, another guy pop out of absolute nowhere around a corner and now this stupid girl wouldn't go away! If this kept up, she was surely going to pee her pants and make a big stain on Vincent's couch and she was _sure_that he would NOT appreciate that and she would get in a lot of trouble and he would kick her out. And then she'd have to go back to living with Tif and Spikes, which would have been okay if they hadn't been trying to procreate. Even that wasn't terrible, seeing as Yuffie knew they were both gorgeous and their kids would be awesome but… having to hear the attempts at creating progeny every night got a little old… and gross.

So Yuffie had ended up moving into Vincent's mansion, which wasn't bad at all considering he had become her sorta-maybe-boyfriend. The words "Vinnie" and "boyfriend" were weird together though, so Yuffiesettled for simply calling him her man-slave. She wasn't sure how much he appreciated it, but he never protested against it other than getting that squinchy look on his face and shaking his head. Sometimes, if she was lucky, Yuffie got a little sigh along with the head shake.

As her thumbs nudged the joysticks and her Point Man consequentially crept along the wall of crates, Yuffie muttered a few more curses. She _really_needed to go to the bathroom; the ninja had had a few too many Red Bulls in preparation for a night of gaming. That was another thing she regretted—she really needed to cut herself off from any and all energy drinks. She was already a high-strung person by nature, and with a game of this creep-caliber, Yuffie was jumping every little noise. Even the grumbling of her own stomach had her nearly leaping from her seat, holding back an earsplitting shriek.

To make matters worse, the music had that kind of unsettling quality about it that settled in the pit of her stomach and made her want to cry and curl up and run away all at the same time. At least, that was when there was music playing; for the rest of the game there was only simply silence, broken only by the footfalls of her character or the gunshots and screams of the enemies she had to kill. Those long stretches of silence increased her anxiety, magnifying every outside noise, adding to her jitters. After a few more minutes of gameplay, Yuffie's fingers froze on the controller.

She was about to have to head into the basement of one of the buildings, and she. _Did. Not. Want. To. _Who knew what was down there? Probably hoards of creepy children, lurking, waiting for her poor, unsuspecting character to stumble into their creepy little hands so they could eat his face off! Yuffie hated basements. She had hated going into the basement of the Shin-Ra mansion all those years ago, although if AVALANCHE hadn't they never would've ended up with Vinnie, so she could thank basements for that.

But this basement was different. It was dark, with flickering lights and dripping _something_that was probably blood and Yuffie knew that as much as she didn't want to go in there, she had to if she was going to get anywhere with the game. So she flicked on her character's flashlight, and started forward with trepidation.

Almost as soon as she had headed in, the music started up and she saw the little girls creeping figure flash across the screen. Her heart lurched and she wanted to throw the controller down and run away into the safety of her bed. Glancing around the room cautiously, she cringed at the gnarled shadows thrown about the walls. Why was she up this late? Still, she surged ahead. But then there was the giggle! Yuffie _hated_ creepy little girls and their creepy little giggles! And then the shadow of the little girl was right behind her and she almost screamed, but held herself together by stuffing a tight fist between her teeth.

She pressed on, felling the bad guys along the way, until she came to yet another corridor with one flickering light, and only darkness beyond. She gulped. As she continued, the little girl's shadow flashed along the wall, moving slowly and sluggishly and (of course) creepily. At the end of the hallway was a drop down into water. Again, Yuffie had that nervous, sinking feeling in the very bottom of her stomach. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

She was right. As her character dropped down into the water, the familiar red tinge appeared on the screen as the motions began to lag. She maneuvered through the water towards the door at the very end of the watery hallway. Right as she approached it, however, a skeleton shot up from the water, flinging itself at her and finally Yuffie had had enough. The scene in and of itself wasn't all that scary but her nerves were shot and she was out of the room like a shot, barely even stopping to click of the TV.

"Get the FRICK AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEPY PUNK!! VINNIIIIIIIEEEE!!! I _NEED_ YOU!"

In her haste to get away from the TV room, Yuffie hadn't realized how bad her coordination would be in the pitch black of the rest of the house. She made it as far as the stairs before she tripped and fell in a mewling pile of unhappiness and scraped elbows. Somewhere in the depths of the upstairs, Yuffie heard a crash.

"Oh crap! The little girl's coming and she'sgonnaeatVinnie!! Crapcrapcrapcrap!" Moments later, however, Yuffie felt a little ridiculous as light flooded that entrance hall and Vincent came crashing down the stairs. She felt slightly less ridiculous when she realized he was shirtless. Then she just felt warm and tingly inside.

He froze when he saw her lithe form sprawled across the bottom stairs. One dark, silky eyebrow slowly rose up his forehead. "Yuffie… What is wrong?" His voice was fuzzy with sleep, and Yuffie felt a different feeling settle into the put of her stomach.

The ninja in question scrambled to an upright, somewhat mussed position. "Vinnie! I'm SO glad the stupid girl didn't eat you! I was worried for a second that it would've been all my fault, 'cause I was the one who woke you up and everything but you're alright!"

Vincent slowly crossed his arms over his chest and Yuffie died a little inside. Nothing should ever cover those abs, _nothing_.

"Yuffie. What happened?" Vincent's tone was becoming disapproving, and the petite young woman realized that this was her chance. She threw herself up the stairs and against his chest, forcing him to uncross his arms.

"Oh, Vinnie! It was terrible! I should've never bought that stupid game, or at least played it when it was light out cuz it was so scary!" All the while she was saying this, Yuffie was nestling herself further against the gunman's chest, one word blaring in her mind.

'_Yummy.'_

Vincent's arm slowly encircled her, loose yet comforting. "Well, you've shut it off now, so why don't you put it away for a few days and go to sleep for now?"

Now Yuffie _really_ saw her chance.

"Vince, I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep in my room! This game was _really_ scary, you don't understand! Do you think… maybe… I could sleep with you?" She pulled back and gave the gunslinger her best and biggest and shiniest puppy eyes. What she saw in his own crimson gaze surprised her, and made her squirm slightly.

"I think… that would be alright." Vincent gently took her hand and led her up the stairs.

Minutes later, as she nestled in close to the sleeping gunman's chest, wondering how she was going to keep her hands to herself for an entire night in Vincent's bed and positive that now she was curled up with him she never wanted to leave, Yuffie had an awful realization.

She still needed to pee.

* * *

AN: So, I don't know if this chapter is as funny as the previous ones, but I think I like it the best. This story is officially back and in-progress, although updates may be slow since I have a huge other fic that I'm working on. Also, I upped the rating to T since we're getting a little bit…. Sexier. I'm thinking about doing this chapter and what happens after from Vinnie's POV… Review if you want a lemon! JK! But… not really if a lot of people want one… but maybe still JK =P Either way, enjoy!

Oh and one more thing, I haven't actually played through F.E.A.R. except for the very beginning at about 1 in the morning with my boyfriend over at his house. Scariest thing OF MY LIFE. So all the fear in this chapter? Totally real. Maybe I'm just a wuss, Idk. Anyways, review! I missed you guys!


	5. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

AN: Possibly some spoilers for Prince of Persia, you have been warned. And Lauren, the magic fountain is for you XD

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Vincent found that he was becoming increasingly mystified by Yuffie's videogame antics. Granted, he had always been somewhat mystified, but with her most recent purchase he found that his bafflement had reached new heights.

It was late one night, not too shortly after his jealousy incident, that he woke up sometime in the wee hours of the morning rather thirsty. As the gunslinger shuffled to the kitchen for a glass of water, he heard Yuffie's sing-song voice from the TV room.

"We're going to magic fountain, going to magic fountain! Kekekekeke!"

Intrigued, Vincent quickly grabbed his water and followed the sound of her voice. Yuffie was silhouetted against the television, a beautiful scene in front of her. There were bridges lit up with aqua lights, and a fountain at the center of everything. Vincent watched as the male character ran towards the fountain, drank from it and then seemed to be thrust back by an unseen force, his eyes turning a glistening, haunting white. An odd whispering filtered from the screen and Vincent was even more confused than before.

As the scene ended, Yuffie paused the game and turned to grin at the gunslinger. "Heya, Vinnie! Come to join me in Prince of Persia land?"

Vincent smiled a tiny smile. "I suppose so," he murmured as he made his way to the couch and lowered himself beside her.

"Good!" The ninja squealed as she threw herself into his lap, wriggling and squirming until she was settled comfortably. "This game is total awesomeness. The main character is this prince who's practically a ninja, only he's got the magical dagger that can control time and stuff and everyone except for him and this mysterious chick I'm following have been turned into gross sand creatures of total grossness. Yuffie turned her attention back to the game, but continued to gush. "I just like the controlling time part. How cool would that be if people could actually control time?"

"It would be… rather interesting." Vincent mused quietly.

The shinobi in his lap scoffed. "Well geez, Vinnie! That's like the understatement of the year! There are sooo many things I'd go back and change! Like, I _totally_ would've stolen Knights of the Round from Cloud right after fighting Sephiroth the first time. I mean, come _on!_ He's got the most powerful magic on the fricken Planet and he never uses it! LAME!" Yuffie cackled to herself.

Silence descended upon the two as they both trained their eyes on the screen, watching Yuffie flip the Prince from pole to pole, platform to platform, running across walls and past threatening saw blades. Eventually, Yuffie ended the quiet.

"What would you change, Vin-Vin? If you could control time and all."

Until that point, Vincent had been rubbing her arms gently, but at her question he stilled. Yuffie squeezed her eyes tight and hoped she hadn't crossed some sort of Vinnie-line. She didn't need him regressing into the silent, brood he used to be. After a few moments of thinking however, his hands began their caresses once again. A beat later, he spoke.

"I would probably go back and… stop trying to atone much earlier. I would realize that what happened with Lucrecia wasn't something I could have ever stopped… that it was her own decision to make, and she chose her end. And I might have kissed you earlier."

An earsplitting grin erupted across the ninja's face. "Vinnie my love, you could not have picked a better answer if you had been thinking about it during all your broody-brood years."

Vincent chuckled, his breath tickling Yuffie's neck and ear. She fought back a shiver, simultaneously cursing the gunner slightly for being so unintentionally sexy and cursing herself for being so meltable with him.

It was at this point that the Prince burst into a new room, and Yuffie watched as a cutscene began. Farah stood, shooting a hoard of sand creatures with her bow and arrow and obviously very outnumbered. Yuffie smirked as the Prince, hunk-slash-hero that he was, swung down to save the day. But her cockiness turned to dismay as the camera zoomed in on the sand creatures' leader.

"Oh no, Vinnie! Do you know who that is?" Distress colored her voice as the battle began and Vincent found himself mystified yet again.

"Yuffie, who…?"

"That's the Prince's father! And he's gonna have to kill him! Oh _gawd_, that's awful…" Her voice trailed off, but she kept on fighting. Vincent was of the mind that it was just a videogame, but he kept silent. Yuffie's eyebrows were knitted together in concern. For the next few minutes the only sounds were that of sand creatures dying and Farah's occasional shout of "Behind you!" or "Help me!" Vincent thought he heard Yuffie muttering "Gawd, Farah, help yourself," every now and again, but he couldn't be sure.

In the end, Yuffie didn't have a choice but to kill the Prince's father. She felt bad, the Prince was her character; they had a symbiotic relationship or something like that. She'd read about it once.

Another cutscene began at the conclusion of the fight. Yuffie and Vincent watched and Farah tried to make nice with the Prince, he blew her off in an angsty upset and then began running toward the giant beam of sand. The ninja sighed and leaned back as the save screen popped up shortly after.

"Vinnie? What were your parents like?" Her voice was timid, but firm. She wanted to know, and Vincent knew he wasn't going to be able to "…" his way out of an answer. He also found that he didn't want to ignore her question, found that he wanted to tell her.

"Well… you learned a bit about my father during Deepground, how he was a scientist alongside Lucrecia and—"

"Vinnie," Yuffie interrupted, "I don't mean what their careers were… I mean, what were they _like_, as people."

The gunslinger paused to think again. "My father was a quiet man, dedicated to his work and very passionate about what he did. I sometimes think he cared more for his notes and research than he did for my mother and myself. He was a good man, just a little… removed." Yuffie's eyes were saucers, encouraging Vincent to continue. "My mother was rather like… Aeris in a way. Light and happy and always laughing or smiling. She died when I was very young, but I remember that about her. She used to sing like Aeris did, although she didn't have as big a passion for flowers. She loved my father and she loved me and while she was alive I just remember our house being filled with love and happiness. When she died… everything got quiet. I had never been a verbose child, but once she was gone I was even quieter. My father and I never talked much anyway."

Yuffie sighed and sank deeper into Vincent's arms. "I would've liked your parents I think. Your mom especially, but your dad too. He sounds a lot like you… minus the obsessed with work thing. You're just obsessed with red and darkness and deep thoughts. And me, of course." She grinned up at him and thought she caught a glimpse of a blush illuminated in the flickering light from the paused video game.

"What about your parents?"

Yuffie frowned slightly. "Eh, Godo is Godo. He was a lot cooler before my mom died, a lot happier and nicer and not as cranky. I still love him though. But, you know how there's that whole One Great Love theory? Well, my mom was my dad's One Great Love. Of course, she was beautiful and kind and generous and kind of hyper like me and totally funny as hell, so I can't really blame him for falling head over heels for her. Everyone did. Hell, I loved her more than I thought a kid could ever love their mom. She died when I was seven, so I never got to know her as a teenager, which might've changed how much I loved her, but you know…" Yuffie grew pensive for a moment. "Wanna know something though? She would have _loved_ you. She would have been all 'Yuffie-chan, you hold on to that handsome man good. You keep him close tight to you,' which I fully intend to do, just by the way."

Vincent smiled softly and placed a gentle kiss to Yuffie's cheek. She was having none of that and soon claimed his lips with hers, deepening their kiss as soon as she got the chance.

Eventually, she began to drift off, comfortable and warm and all fuzzy on the inside from Vinnie-kisses. Vincent decided that moving them upstairs would be too much effort, and pulled a throw-quilt from the arm of the couch to cover the two of them. As they drifted off, Yuffie mumbled one last question to her gunslinger.

"Vinnie? We'll be a family, right?"

Vincent nodded, smiling, and they both succumbed to sleep.

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AN: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving then just happiness! XD I'm thankful for my reviewers: **SilverSpirit 101, Writing Addiction, serenbach, Chaotic Angel7, Starbrightdreamer, FlamingGryphon, TornAngelWings, Snipergal7, AshmandaLC, vanelo159, RSXx and CocoResha! **Thanks so much and keep it up!!!

~Bru


	6. Resident Evil 4

Disclaimer: I still own nothing… tear

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If there was one thing that irritated Yuffie more than anything else, it was a girl who couldn't take care of herself. Which is probably why _Resident Evil 4 _irked her so much. In theory, it should have been an awesome game. Cool guns? Check. Zombies? Double check. Hot protagonist? Oh, hell yeah. So what was the one downside to what should have been an otherwise great game?

The President's daughter, and stereotypical damsel-in-distress, Ashley Fucking Graham.

And worst of all? Yuffie had to _play_ as her! With no weapons! Because no, lanterns did not count. She turned a disgusted look to the gunslinger watching raptly from beside her on the couch.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you Vinnie?" It was the tiny quirk of his mouth that gave him away. "You totally are! You are enjoying my frustration!" Yuffie had Ashley throw another stupid lantern at a zombie-monk before pausing the game and turning on the couch to face Vincent. She glared. Vincent simply looked back at her placidly. The ninja's eye twitched. She was not amused, seeing as she had already died twice before she figured out about using the lanterns as non-weapons.

At first, Yuffie was kind of excited to be playing as Ashley, thinking that maybe the girl would redeem herself after all her obnoxious whining and inability to do anything other than follow Leon around and hide in dumpsters. Yuffie figured that maybe, just maybe, Ashley Graham would be able to punch or kick or do something useful other than bitch. How wrong the shinobi would turn out to be.

"I can understand your frustration at having to start over twice, but I fail to see why you hate this character so much." Vincent's eyes flickered from Yuffie's face to the screen and then back again.

"Vincent! She's just so… so… PATHETIC!" Yuffie flailed around to get her point across. The gunslinger's smirk widened. "All Ashley does is whine! She doesn't help Leon, and she can't even take care of herself! I wanna see some butt-kicking, chick sidekicks, not some stupid, defenseless…" Yuffie trailed off before she could let slip a four-letter word rhyming with "punt." That would definitely make Vincent frown. "I mean, for Leviathan's sake, Vinnie! I can take care of myself; Tifa can definitely kick some serious butt… Even Aeris could totally wreck monsters with even the shittiest material!"

"Perhaps they should make a game about you three then, instead." Vincent smiled as Yuffie's exasperated look brightened.

"Aw, Vinnie! How awesome would that be?! I bet it would be like… the best videogame ever! And ten years after it was made, people would be begging for a remake and there would be spin-off games and movies and animes and everyone would totally love it!" The ninja threw herself back onto the couch, cackling.

Once she had pulled herself together, Yuffie sat up and looked mournfully towards the television screen. "I have to keep playing, don't I, Vinnie?"

Vincent squeezed her hand gently. "If you want to know how it ends, then yes. And it will also mean you're back to playing as Leon sooner too." Yuffie groaned. "You can do this, Yuffie. You're strong, remember?"

Yuffie smacked Vincent's arm lightly. "You! Trying to butter me up! I bet you're just curious to see how it ends, mister. I bet that's it!" After planting a quick kiss on the gunslinger's cheek, she returned to the game.

Things between Ashley and Yuffie did not improve. In fact, Yuffie felt her hatred deepening, especially once the knight-statue-things begin coming to life and attacking her. That was when Yuffie really began freaking out.

"VINNIE! She can't even dodge properly! Did you see that? She just like, yelped and flailed and fell over and…. Oh my _Gawd_, I just can't even deal with this broad."

"You know…" Vincent mused, "Ashley Graham is not the only one yelping and flailing around here."

Yuffie's face was murderous. "Vincent… do not, I repeat, _do not_ compare me to that weakling. You don't even wanna go there. Or else you will be sleeping on this couch, all by yourself."

"That's not likely seeing as, more often than not, you sleep down here." Vincent replied with a smile. "So even if I did sleep here, I wouldn't exactly be alone." Yuffie shrugged and stuck her tongue out at him. "Why do you have such a problem with weakness? Everyone has some. As strong as you are, Yuffie, you still get motion sickness."

Yuffie sighed and looked down at her hands. "Vin… I'm a ninja-princess. The ninja part is what I mostly show, but the princess is still a part of me. Even though I've helped save the world plenty of times and proved myself time after time… Godo still wants me to go back home. Marry an honorable suitor. Be the diplomatic Lady of Wutai… Have tons of heirs so our bloodline continues on. But that's not me! I don't want to sit on a throne all day, fussed up and cinched into royal clothing, married to some boring old man who probably just wants my money and my power. And I especially don't want to have kids with someone like that!

Vincent looked at her probingly. "Then… what _do_ you want?"

"You know… After all I've done to help this world make it back from the Shin-Ra disaster, I want to be strong for my country! I want to be an adventurer! Not a prize to be given away to whichever suitor is most… _respectable,_" She spit the word and then softened. "But most of all… I want to stay here. Or, maybe not even here. I just want to stay with you."

Yuffie finally met Vincent's eyes, only to have his lips capture hers a second after. She let the controller clatter to the floor as they tumbled back on the couch, her fingers buried in his hair, his body pressing hers against the soft cushions. When they surfaced, both were gasping for breath.

"Why?" Vincent rasped.

"Why what?" Yuffie had to struggle to focus her lust-fogged brain on Vincent's words instead of how soft his lips looked and how much she wanted to keep kissing him forever.

"Why do you want to stay with me?"

Yuffie grinned, and softly kissed Vincent once before answering. "Because, Vinnie-Vinster, You're strong. I'm strong. And together we'll be even stronger. You'll never ask me to tone it down or to be some weakling that I'm not. You're not after my money, you're not after my power. You're the sweetest person I've ever known, the most patient and generous. And most of all, because I love you. So there."

Vincent seemed to like that answer, and his showed his appreciation by claiming Yuffie's lips once more. When they pulled apart for air a second time, he looked down into Yuffie's eyes.

"You will never have to weaken yourself for me. I'll never ask that of you. I promise."

Yuffie smirked and flipped Vincent over so that she was straddling his lap. She nipped his ear gently."Then let me be on top for once," she whispered before lowering her lips to his.

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AN: I'M SORRY I'M SO TERRIBLE AT UPDATING! I hope the steaminess of this chapter makes up for it a little XD Thanks go out to all of my beautiful, lovely, generous reviewers, my favorite people in the whole wide world: ChocoResha, SilverSpirit 101, Chaotic Angel7, Writing Addiction, Gryphon of Fire and Life, serenbach, vanelo159, starbrightdreamer, Toph43, anonymous and Kisdota-The Freak Gamer! Because you all rock so much, I am planning on starting the next chapter right after this and if I don't have it posted by the end of the week then... you can all yell at me… or something.

Huggles! ~Bru


	7. A Little Shopping Interlude

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing… not for lack of trying though… *burns lawsuit papers ruefully*

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It wasn't often that Yuffie woke before Vincent; however it did happen on occasion. Never on rainy days, though. And never on weekends. Yuffie didn't have an actual _job_ per se, but she firmly maintained that the point of weekends is to sleep in until your eyes are practically glued shut with sleepytime eye-crust and the pillow-side of you face is covered in drool, whether you work the other five days of the week or not. So, while Vincent usually had the house to himself for a few peaceful hours in the pale, early mornings, when it happened that the ninja awoke first, it usually meant bad news bears for the gunslinger.

This day was no different.

"Viiiii-niiiie… _Viiiiiii-niiiiiie… !!!_ _VINNIEVINNIEVINNIEVINNIE!!! _**VINNIEVINNIEVINNIEVINNIE!!!**"

Somewhere in the gloom-pit of Vincent's sleeping brain, he had the impulse to fire a few rounds from Death Penalty into the intruder's skull. Instead, he simply pulled it from beneath his pillow and pointed it at Yuffie menacingly, all while managing to keep his face buried in the downy-softness beneath his head.

"Whoa there, Vinnie! No need to get hasty!" He could almost see her, legs tucked under her backside, hands up in the air and flapping around in a strange form of double-greeting-slash-please-don't-kill-me. It was lucky for Yuffie that he was feeling merciful. Vincent returned his trusty firearm to its resting spot, and hoisted himself up onto his elbows with a groan.

"What time is it, Yuffie?" He asked, still not facing her, his voice rusty with sleep.

The shinobi in question was too busy admiring the way the muscles of his back rippled and tensed to answer. She always thought it was cute that he was a belly-sleeper.

"Whoa, _Vinnie_, have you been working out or something? Your back is all manly and muscular…" She wolf-whistled appreciatively, and Vincent questioned (not for the first time) why he put up with her.

"_Yuffie._ The time." His head began to slump towards the pillow again.

"Okay, okay… sheesh! It's uh… about five-thirty. Hey! Don't go back to sleep, Vinnie! We have missions to accomplish! Adventures to be had! New gaming systems to buy! No, stay awake _please_!!"

Yuffie was absolutely mystified at why she had to throw the covers off of Vincent, and drag him out of bed by his claw. Okay… so it was kind of early, but did he not _understand_?!? The Nintendo Wii was coming out in only one short hour! And Yuffie **needed** one. Sure, she probably could have waited for someone to give it to her as a birthday present, but November was months away, and besides, her birthday was late November to boot. Yuffie tried her best to explain the dire situation to her roommate-turned-boyfriend-turned-hella-sexy-loverpants, but the cloaked man was apparently still brushing the cobwebs from his sleep-zombied brain. Yuffie scoffed inwardly. _Men_. Never understanding anything.

"Vincent, you have to realize, there will only be limited supplies of them in every gaming store in Edge. Plus, there are probably going to be people who've camped out overnight outside the stores for like… _weeks_ in order to make sure they can get one! So, we have to make sure we can get to Edge before six-thirty when the stores open and then ninja our way past the crazy camper-outers." The pint-sized woman paused, sizing her companion up. "Actually, Vin-Vinchops, you may want to leave the ninja-ing to me. But you can stand behind me after I cut everyone in line and look imposing!" She patted his arm in a comforting way, as if it would evaporate all the misfortunes of having to leave the warm, snug embrace of his bed behind in favor of riding a Golden Chocobo from Nibelheim to Edge. The misfortunes didn't evaporate and the gunslinger held back a groan.

The morning was cold and misty, and the ocean between the two continents was even colder and mistier. Vincent remained snug and sheltered from the biting sea gusts, wrapped tightly inside his cloak, but Yuffie was clad only in her usual, skimpy attire. Yet somehow, she seemed to be impervious to the cold. Perhaps her excitement was keeping her warm. She bounced up and down atop the chocobo, not only causing it to let loose a startled "_WARK!"_ but also sloshing more seawater over herself and the gunslinger behind her. Vincent didn't even bother trying to get her to stop. He was equal parts annoyed and amused at this point, although early-morning crankiness was edging out his good-humor.

It seemed like hours before the shore came into view, what with Yuffie rambling on about how excited she was and how many new games she was going to buy and how she was going to coerce Vincent into playing with (read: getting his butt kicked by) her. Finally, with a show of strength that surprised his still sleep-rusted muscles, Vincent turned Yuffie around by the shoulders and, still keeping them both astride the chocobo, shut her up in the best was he knew how.

Yuffie was pleased at how eager Vincent was about her plans for their video-gaming future. Why else would he be kissing her so forcefully? She sighed against his mouth, twining her hands through his silky strands of hair, and the rest of the trip seemed to pass by as a blur for both of them.

It was only once they had passed through the outskirts of Edge that Yuffie righted herself on the large golden bird and her nonstop chatter started up again. Vincent managed to tune it out, instead preferring to lean his head against her back and listen to her heartbeat.

"Hmm… Vinnie, do you think we should go to GameStart, BestBought, Boombox Shack or Floor*Mart?" The store names meant nothing to Vincent; therefore he had no useful input whatsoever. Yuffie eventually decided on GameStart, "even though they mostly sell a lot of used or old stuff, they'll DEFINITELY be selling the Wii and some new games for it… if they know what's good for business, ya know?" Vincent did not know, but he pretended to, because he liked to see the smile that lit her face when she sees he's trying. His morning annoyance was gone, and he was ready to make her as happy as possible.

Upon their arrival, the store was deserted, much to Yuffie's surprise, and there was only one lone Wii sitting high up one the self. It fell to Vincent to lug the thing down, and cart it around while Yuffie scampered about looking for the perfect game to begin playing as soon as they returned to the mansion. She finally managed to pick one and the twosome sidled up to the cash register.

"Excuuuuuse me, Mister Cashier dude sir. Where are all the people? And why do you only have ONE Wii? I would've thought this place would've been crawling with n00bs and leets l33ts alike looking to buy one, and that the shelves would've been overflowing with these babies… I mean, it _is_ the first day they're on sale, after all." Yuffie grinned widely at the cashier through her rambles, and he smiled back in turn, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I'm afraid you're mistaken… the first day the Wiis went on sale was yesterday. And you're rather lucky that we still had one left in stock—I'd just put it on the shelf a few minutes before you arrived."

Yuffie blanched. "_YESTERDAY?!?_ You have GOT to be kidding me!" She whirled to face Vincent, frustration etched into every pore of her face. "Where's the fun in ninja-ing about past unsuspecting gamers, cutting them in line and crushing their hopes and dreams of being the first person in all of Edge to own a Wii by stealing the title and claiming it for myself, if none of that ends up being possible?!?" Yuffie threw her wallet at Vincent before running out of the store. Vincent calmly paid for the gaming system and the game Yuffie had selected, ignoring the cashier's curious glances.

"Yes, she is often like that, and no, I am not a monster. The claw has recently come into fashion and the eyes are inherited from my poor, unfortunate mother." Vincent learned the deadpan from Yuffie, although the man behind the counter failed to pick up on it and could only manage to smile weakly and bid him to have a nice day.

The gunslinger returned to the chocobo, to find Yuffie dejectedly kicking at pebbles and absentmindedly petting the large bird. His attempts to cheer her up fell flat until they began crossing the ocean toward home when, once again, Vincent forcefully turned Yuffie to face him, and gently claimed her lips. This kind of carrying on seemed to lift the shinobi's spirits immeasurably, and she was much more chipper for the duration of their journey home. He hoped he would always be there to cheer her up, to make her smile, to keep her happy… forever.

When they finally walked past the doors into the silence of the mansion, Yuffie greedily tore into her new game: _The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess_. Vincent peacefully climbed the stairs, sauntered down the hall to his bedroom, and went back to sleep.

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AN: So… I've decided to stop pretending I'm actually going to update on time. School always takes over my life, or I get lazy, or I spend my days doing all the brainstorming but none of the writing. Anyway, I decided I needed to get Yuffie another gaming system, because I was running out of PS2 games that aren't sequels or prequels to games that I've already used AND that also compel me to write funny fanfiction. Anyhoo, here's a special little treatsie interlude for my awesome reviewers: **Lalilulelo, Yes-4-Yuffentine, Chaotic Angel7, Lauren my Love, Writing Addiction, ChocoResha, Supaslim, serenbach, Flame05, vanelo159 and Kisdota-The Freak Gamer!!** You guys are my absolute favorites, and if any of you are still following this story and have anything to say, please review! Next up: Twilight Princess XD


	8. Twilight Princess

AN: I'm alive and with a renewed sense of excitement with this story! To be honest, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to continue; I just wasn't happy with any ideas I came up with, every time I sat down to write it just didn't flow well, and it just wasn't very _fun_ anymore. And to me, if I story loses the fun, I stop writing it until the fun returns. But one day (today actually) I went back and was reading all my AWESOME reviews from you AWESOME readers, and a suggestion from Chaotic Angel7 got me thinking… and pondering… and looking forward to writing this again. So, here it is! I give you Chapter 9: In which Yuffie plays _The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess_, but we really focus on Vinnie's feelings of frustration and neglect! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything you recognize… But one of these days I will! Kekekekeke!**

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Vincent was not a man who frustrated easily. Sure, there were certain things that would definitely set him off, but even then it was more of a mild annoyance that tinged his mood, rather than straight-up, flat-out frustration. And while it often seemed that Vincent was a man of infinite patience—the fact that he put up with Yuffie for so long seemed to be irrevocable proof of this—Vincent was still a man. More importantly, he was a man with needs.

Thirty years in a coffin had certainly done…_interesting_ things to his sex-drive.

So what, pray tell, was the problem? After all, he had a live-in girlfriend. It didn't seem like there should be a problem. But there was.

Ever since the fateful trip to purchase her Wii, Yuffie had barely left Vincent's TV room. She slept there every night, she ate all her meals there. When it was time for her daily telephone call to catch up with Tifa, she remained seated on the couch. Vincent had tried to get her out of the house. He had offered to take her out for a nice dinner, a movie even, just anything to get her out of whatever game she was engrossed in and focused back on him. None of it worked.

_Twilight Princess_, it seemed, had replaced him in Yuffie's affections.

Vincent didn't understand it. He had sat down and watched her play for a little while, and he just couldn't see what was compelling about controlling a little elf-boy. Granted, he _could_ turn into a wolf, but Vincent could transform too! And his transformations were a lot more threatening and manly, he reasoned with a puff of pride.

It wasn't even that he was jealous this time. Sure, the whole Dante thing had thrown him for a loop, because he could actually see where Yuffie might consider Dante attractive. But this guy? Link? The kid had a pet fairy! That was just… laughable. And lame.

Lame? With a sigh, Vincent realized that Yuffie was rubbing off on him.

Of course, he rather wished that she was rubbing off on him in a very different way, but that was… uncouth thinking on his part.

It had been three weeks! And while Vincent admitted that one of those weeks she had been in Edge visiting with Cloud and Tifa, when she had returned home she had immediately returned to the TV room, booted up the Wii and continued to leave him alone in his frustration. It also didn't help that Yuffie wasn't very good with the Wiimotes and had already broken several things in the house, as well as nearly dislocating her shoulder.

So, at the end of the day, Vincent was not only piecing his house back together after the destructive force known as Yuffie had torn it apart, he was also fighting the urge to yank her off the couch, toss her over his shoulder caveman-style, throw her down onto his bed and have his merry way with her.

But Vincent, even when horny, was a gentleman. Obviously, had she given any indication that she would like him to do all the things previously mentioned, he would have had no problem carrying them out. He would have done it gladly, in a heartbeat even. But Yuffie hadn't shown any interest, and that was the root of the problem. She was so wrapped up in her video game that Vincent was close to pulling his hair out. This was a major red flag, because Vincent truly and deeply cared for his silky locks. He would never do anything to harm them unless at the utmost end of his rope. He was almost there, and yet that aggravated him more than anything.

Yuffie was frustrated as well, but for very different reasons. She was having one those "gawd-awful" moments when one realizes they have gotten themselves into something that is going to be very difficult to get out of. She had, during the course of playing through the Gerudo Desert, unknowingly and unwittingly sent Link into the bowels of the Cave of Ordeals.

At first, it had seemed like an easy enough place to beat. But most things that seem easy at first end up being Hell in the end. The Cave of Ordeals was no exception. Those three damn Iron Knights on the very last level were killing her! Literally and figuratively.

The main problem was that Yuffie was stubborn. She never backed down from a challenge, even if it was one as stupid as trying to beat Teef in a Turk-judged modeling contest. That was a particularly painful memory….stupid Reno.

Even more of a problem was the fact that Yuffie absolutely detested losing. And while she had lost to Teef when it came to modeling, she had kind of known all along that would happen. But when it came to something she _knew_ she could beat, she absolutely refused to quit until she had won. Which is how she found herself spending a week straight trying to finish the Cave of Ordeals. There was no way a game was going to beat her!

So Yuffie pressed on for days, losing and starting over and losing again. She tried different strategies, she even tried looking up walkthroughs, but they all suggested that she have Link be much stronger than she had him. There was no way she would leave the Cave to strengthen Link up, she was _going to do this if it was the last thing she ever did!_

Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she found herself dead at the hands of the Iron Knights again. Tossing her head back in anguish she let out a primal scream. "Mother of _**!**_"

She sat for a few minutes, staring blankly at the screen and breathing heavily. It barely registered when Vincent entered the room to stand behind the couch. When she did realize his presence, a pang of guilt crept through her.

"Is there a problem?" Vincent had one eyebrow raised as he took in Yuffie's frazzled form. Her frazzled form that he just wanted to bend over and—no, no! BAD THOUGHTS! He shook his head to clear it.

Yuffie looked up at him mournfully, one pouty lip gripped between her teeth, her eyes wide and shining. "This game. Life. Everything is a problem!" She went back to worrying her lip and Vincent had to close his eyes quickly lest he take care of that bottom lip for her.

"Vin? Are you okay? What's with the squinchy eyes and everything?" Her eyes were now filled with concern and Vincent was surprised. It was the first time in the last three weeks she'd been anything other than friendly or indifferent to him.

"I'm fine, Yuffie. Just have a small headache." Ah, the trusty old headache excuse. Works every time for getting out of tight spot, Vincent thought.

"Oh no, Vinnie! Are you coming down with something? Come here so I can feel your forehead!" Vincent cautiously joined Yuffie on the couch and leaned forward so she could press her hand to his head. It took all his self-control to focus on something other than her lips as he leaned in close.

"Hmm… well you feel normal enough, but it looks like you could use some relaxing." Her brow furrowed in concentration before she clapped her hands excitedly. "I know just the thing! Turn around and take your shirt off, Vinnie."

Vincent paled even more than usual. Did she have any idea what he was going through? From the look on her face she wasn't thinking the way he was, and that almost pained him even more. If she was going to give him a back massage, as he thought, he was going to curl up and die. Or rape her. Those were Vincent's only two options at that point.

Still, he dutifully did as he was told, removing his black T-shirt and turning so his back was facing the petite ninja.

"Actually, Vin… I think it might be better if you lay on your stomach. But then I won't fit, so why don't we go upstairs and do this on your bed? I need a break from this stupid game anyway."

Vincent tried not to choke on his tongue. Bed? That was just asking for his resolve to disappear. 'Must not rape her… must not rape her… must not rape her…" was the mantra he thought over and over as they climbed the stairs and headed into the bedroom.

Once Vincent was suitably settled on his stomach in the middle of their large bed, Yuffie climbed atop his back, straddling his backside. The gunslinger bit his tongue so as not to groan. If only he could turn over onto his back… and magically have their clothes disappear… and oh god, his pants were getting extremely uncomfortable. Was it _really_ necessary for her to straddle him?

"Geez, Vin… you're very tense. Been stressing out lately or something?" Her hands left a blazing hot trail as they worked up and down his back. He chose to remain silent, not trusting his voice at that moment in time.

"By the way… I know I owe you an apology. I've been a gawd-awful girlfriend for the past few weeks and… I feel so bad about that. I mean, you know who much I love gaming and it's always super fun and a good way to blow off steam and all that jazz… but how could I neglect someone as awesomely awesome and sexy as you? I mean… _really_, what was I thinking?"

Vincent could hear the smirk in her voice and he suddenly realized… She knew exactly what she was doing to him. Had she been doing it on purpose the whole time? If so… enough was enough!

In one quick motion, he had Yuffie on her back and was hovering over her, his eyes dark and lust-filled. "Yuffie…" he breathed her name dangerously, like a predator stalking its prey, "have you been doing this all on purpose… for _three weeks_?"

She wriggled playfully, grinding her hips against his. "Well…. Not for the_ whole _three weeks. I _was_ pretty wrapped up in my game but… then I started realizing what was going on with you and… well, you know what they say about anticipation." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

"What, pray tell, do they say about anticipation?"

Yuffie leaned up and whispered in Vincent's ear. Her words were absolutely filthy and he felt his eyes go huge… along with another part of his anatomy.

"Yuffie… I'm going to rape you now." His tone was matter of fact, but his eyes were even darker with desire than before.

Her eyes were playful, but her tone was low and husky as she replied.

"Vinnie… do you worst."

And so he did.

* * *

AN: That was way too much fun! I hope you all enjoy sexually-frustrated Vinnie as much as I did ;) Thanks go out to my wonderful reviewers: **My beautiful cousin Lauren, Guren, Supaslim, Writing Addiction, ChocoResha, Kisdota- The Freak Gamer, Yes-4-Yuffentine, -ladynatashaeagleye-, serenbach, Chaotic Angel7 (special thanks to you for the idea for this chapter!), vanelo159 and JingYee! **

Also, a few things: First, I have a new policy. You review, I personally reply. I used to reply to every review I got and then I don't know if I got lazy or busy or what, but I realized I really need to start doing it again. You guys are all so awesome, and I need to do a better job of letting you know how much I appreciate it! Secondly, after this chapter do you think the rating needs to go up? I _think_ I'm okay keeping it at T, but an outside opinion is always appreciated. Thirdly and finally, I'm considering breaking the fourth wall soon. Well, shattering it actually =P. I'm thinking that the next game I do will be Kingdom Hearts, but it's not totally set in stone yet. So, review and let me know what you think of the chapter, the rating and the thought of having Kingdom Hearts be next!

Much love.

~Bru


	9. Kingdom Hearts I

AN: I said I would be quick, didn't I? Hopefully this is fast enough for all you Yuffentine fiends! XD

Disclaimer: There is nothing here that I own. Except maybe the teardrops on my keyboard from crying over how I don't own anything T.T

.xxx.

Yuffie would be the first person to admit that she had an odd affinity for weirdness. It was just in her nature. She laughed like a deranged chicken (weird), she was obsessed with all things shiny (weird, but also slightly understandable) and she always wore her shorts unbuttoned (weird, as well as begging for a wardrobe malfunction). Some might also say that Yuffie's choice in men was a little weird, and while Yuffie realized that tall, dark and angsty wasn't everyone's cup of tea, she would happily tell those who disagreed with her choice of boyfriend to eff-off.

The fact of the matter was, if something strange was going on, Yuffie couldn't be far away. Weird didn't bother her. In fact, if she could draw herself a bath full of weirdness and bathe in it every day, she probably would.

Her day had started off like any other day. Any other day that didn't involve killing Sephiroth or fighting a giant Bahamut-sized-robot-dragon thing (Yuffie refused to believe that what the Remnants had summoned was actually a Bahamut, because everyone knew the summon materia was RED). Anyway, the point was that her day had been _normal_. She had woken up, eaten some Choco-Cheerios for breakfast, and then settled in for some snuggles with Vinnie-kins before she felt the urge to play some video games. Just another normal day in the life of Yuffie Kisaragi. Of course, whenever one has been lured into a sense of security that their day will be just like any other, _that's_ when everything always goes to hell. Yuffie knew from experience.

"_WHAT THE HOLY MOTHER OF CHEETO-EATING MOOGLES!"_

Upstairs, Vincent sighed. He was used to Yuffie's outbursts by now, had come to expect them, really. But on that particular day, he was tired. In fact, while it was a normal day for Yuffie, it was anything but for Vincent. He was _sure_ he was coming down with something, and Vincent had never been one to fall carelessly ill. He was a biologically-rearranged masterpiece, after all! He was immortal! Immortals did not fall to the whims of mere germs! But that, my friends, is not where our story lies today.

Yet when he heard Yuffie's screech, followed shortly by the sounds of several things falling, he knew it was not going to be a restful day.

"VINNIE! !"

Which is how Vincent found himself padding down to the TV room. The sight of the little ninja skittering around the room like a demented tonberry on speed normally wasn't cause for concern. On any other day, that is. But that day was not like any other day, not for Vincent and not for Yuffie...

-Fifteen Minutes Earlier-

"Lalalalalalala, Traverse Town, lalalala, Black monster thingies, lalalalalaLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

It was safe to say that Yuffie was thoroughly enjoying her new game, _Kingdom Hearts_. Yes, it was cheesy. Yes, it was childish. Yes, Yuffie was sure she was definitely too old to be playing it. But was it fun? _Hell _yeah! In fact, she might have even gone as far as to say that it should not have been as fun as it was. But it was. Indeed.

She had played through all the shenanigans on Destiny Island, finding coconuts and mushrooms (which she thought explained a lot of the weird things Sora experienced, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk), killing the little black monster thingies—which she would later learn were called Heartless—and had found herself in Traverse Town for the time being. She had sent Sora scampering around the various districts, finding his inability to jump well _extremely_ annoying, and had returned to the Accessories Shop to save her game and heal. And that's when everything got sexy (for a few minutes) and weird (forever).

"Lalalalalalala, CUTSCENE!" The ninja cried happily as Sora stepped out of the Accessories Shop.

"_They'll come at you out of nowhere." _Yuffie perked up at the dulcet tones of the mysterious and sexy voice.

"_Who are you?"_ And then she cringed at Sora's pansy-ness.

"_And they'll keep on coming at you, as long you continue to wield the keyblade. But why? Why would it choose a kid like you?"_

'Angsting… Angsting is always a good thing…. Mm, sexy angsting…' Yuffie could feel a bit of drool leaking out the side of her mouth. Sexy voice and angst? Her kind of man!

"_Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" _

"Sora…. Interrupting my sexy-fest!" Yuffie mumbled irritably. The jury was out on whether or not she liked Sora as a main character, and he wasn't helping his case much. But as the camera continued to zoom around the mysterious sex-pot, Yuffie began to notice something familiar about his clothing. Lots and lots of belts…

"_Never mind. Now, let's see that keyblade." _

"_What? There's no way you're getting this!" _

"_All right, then have it your way." _

And then Yuffie saw his face. And her jaw dropped and her mouth drooled and she was pretty sure her eyes glazed over with lust. Squallie-kins was back! And sexier than ever…

Yuffie was almost so overcome by her hormones that she failed to notice a battle starting.

"Squall! Squall? _Squall?_ IdunwannafightSquallie!" But alas, it had to be done.

And then Squall kicked her ass. And then Yuffie reset her Playstation. And then she watched the cutscene again. And she drooled again too. And then Squall kicked her ass, _again_. And then she reset her Playstation, _again_.

Four times this happened, and Yuffie began to be very disillusioned with the handsome swordsman. He was still drop-dead sexy…. but she wanted to beat his ass! She didn't even care that she was possibly ruining his reputation by having a pansy-ass ten-year old like Sora defeat him. This wasn't about characters and badassery anymore… this was _war_.

It was on her fifth try that she finally defeated Squall. It was on her fifth try that she finally let the cutscene following the battle play. And it was on her fifth try that all the _tres sexy_ briefly melted away and shit got _really, really weird._

"_Now… you're… gonna… you're gonna…"_ Honestly? Did Sora really just pass out? After just beating the hotness that was Squall? Yuffie was ashamed of him.

"Stupid… pansy… twerp…" But her grumblings did not last long because the cutscene continued.

"_Aww, you're slipping, Leon."_ The camera zoomed away from Squall's (Leon's?) sexiness and panned over to… someone who looked a whole lot like Yuffie. And sounded a whole lot like Yuffie. Somewhere, in the distant realms of her own mind, the small ninja sitting on the couch heard something shatter. And then she started shrieking. And running around the room like a chocobo with its head cut off. And generally creating a ruckus.

"_WHAT THE HOLY MOTHER OF CHEETO-EATING MOOGLES! _VINNIE! !"

As soon as Vincent entered the room, Yuffie pounced on him, grabbing his collar and doing her best to shake him.

"VINNIE! Either I have a twin I never knew about who's been captured and forced to be a part of the cheesiest video game EVER, or something REALLYREALLYREALLY _SUPER _WEIRD is going on!"

The gunslinger was calm as he was nearly assaulted—a habit bred from living with Yuffie for as long as he had. So, together, they sat down on the couch and watched as Yuffie unpaused the cutscene and continued to watch the rest of it. But things just got weirder from there on out.

"AERIS? Aeris is in the game too? Vincent, what the _hell_ is going on?"

And then

"VINCENT! She called herself the Great Ninja Yuffie! Only I can call myself the Great Ninja Yuffie! This is blasphemy! Horror! An abomination to my name! I _knew_ I should've copyrighted that name when I had the chance…"

Vincent highly doubted that Yuffie had ever had the chance to copyright anything, but he put his arm around her and rubbed soothing circles on her arm anyway. He was feeling disturbed by the way things were playing out as well. I mean, yes, the names and images of the AVALANCHE members were famous after all they had done for the Planet… but this didn't seem to be why Yuffie—and Aeris, for that matter—were in the videogame.

The thing was, the voices were a little…off. Game-Yuffie's voice and Game-Aeris's voice were _similar_, but Game-Yuffie sounded too mature, and Game-Aeris wasn't gentle enough.

Yuffie, for her part, was disturbed as well, but couldn't help drooling over SqualLeon. She tried not to let Vinnie see, even though he was adorable when he got jealous. But by the way his lips were pursed together, she wasn't sure she was doing a great job of it.

Still, the shinobi decided to press on with the game, to see what other weird things could pop up. Wonderland was obviously weird, and Yuffie had never much liked the story of Alice in Wonderland anyway… there was always something a tad creepy about it. And Yuffie could usually handle creepy. Uh sometimes. When it didn't involve creepy little girls or creepily large caterpillars.

Things were normal for a bit, or as normal as _Kingdom Hearts_ ever got, at least. But then… Yuffie arrived at the Olympus Coliseum. And then shit got strange, _again_.

"Ugh, Vinnie! If I never have to see another barrel in my entire life, I will die a happy ninja." Sora's inability to jump well was getting on Yuffie's nerves again, especially when she only had a minute to destroy twenty-five barrels that were scattered around with some way up high. She wanted to kill things. Real things. And the preliminaries seemed like a good place to start.

After dominating in the first few rounds, another cutscene kicked in. A cutscene that would send Yuffie laughing hysterically to the other side of the room and ruffle Vincent's feathers _just_ a tad.

"Oh… my… GAWD! _Vinnie!_ Cloud stole your clothes! Bwahahahahahahaha!" And indeed, it appeared that that's what had happened.

When Vincent had first seen the red cape and golden claw flouncing onto the screen, he had been sure that his own face was about to appear. So, imagine his disappointment when it was Cloud's spiky head that showed up instead! Apparently his clothes were worthy enough to make an appearance, but he himself was not. Vincent was already feeling sick, and now he just felt snubbed.

Yuffie didn't seem to notice. She had returned to the game and was finishing up the preliminaries, when all of a sudden she let out a huge scoff. Cloud was set up to be Sora's next opponent.

"Okay… just no. Having Sora beat SqualLeon was one thing. But I will not, I _refuse_ to have that stupid little… _stupid _beat Cloud. The dude took on Sephiroth by himself and won! No way am I gonna have Sora beat him. It would just be inhumane and wrong and _dumb_."

When Vincent didn't even chime in with a grunt of acknowledgement was when Yuffie realized something was up with her handsome gunner. The scowl on his face when she chanced a peek at him was evidence enough. She wracked her brains for a possible cause, and then bit her tongue to hold back a round of nyuk, nyuk, nyuks.

"Aww… Vincent… Are you upset that they didn't put you in the game, too?" Yuffie leaned over next to him on the couch, placing her big, gray eyes level with his.

"Of course not," Vincent replied stiffly, "Only a child would want to be in a silly… childish… _game_ like this."

Yuffie cocked her head to the side, quizzically. "Vince… it sounds to me like you've got a teensy-tiny, itty-bitty case of sour grapes."

Vincent turned his head away, staring at the wall, but Yuffie was having none of it. "If it makes you feel better… you rock the whole cape and claw shebang better than Cloudy-poo ever could." When the gunslinger was still silent, she smirked and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "But ya know… you're totally at your hottest with no clothes on at all."

After that, Vincent promptly let himself be dragged upstairs by the smirking, giggling ninja-princess. So he was coming down with a cold and wasn't featured in a stupid game… but at least he wasn't sexually frustrated anymore!

.xxx.

A few hours later, Yuffie returned to her game alone while Vincent remained upstairs nursing his cold. She intentionally didn't try to defeat Cloud, and then had one hell of a time killing Cerberus. It was only once she returned to Traverse Town that she began exploring the different menus of the game. In particular, the Journal Entries. And there, in the section titled Characters, did Yuffie find her game-version's biography. And in said biography, in the corner, were three tiny words. _Final Fantasy VII_.

It seemed Yuffie knew what her next game would be.

_Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!_

.xxx.

AN: So let me know what you think! Enough fourth-wall destruction? Or should we continue into the realms of FFVII? Btw, I apologize if there isn't enough fluff in this chapter, if I do VII next there will be plenty o' fluff! I just hope there was enough funny in this chapter too! Thanks go out to: **vanelo159, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, -ladynatashaeagleye-, spitfire2962, JingYee, aoi-yuuhi, ChocoResha **(I'm working on it, I promise!)**, serenbach, XlittlexninjaX24, Chaotic Angel7, Yes-4-Yuffentine, Kisdota-The Freak Gamer, .o0XxGurenxX0o., snipergal7 and starbrightdreamer!** You guys really do make this all worth it :) And just so you know, your opinions really do matter to me, so if there is strong opposition to having VII be the next game (I really hope there isn't because I have some AWESOME ideas), then I'll definitely take the opposition into consideration. So review and let me know what you think!

~Bru


	10. Author's Note

Hey guys, I hate to do this to you but here goes….

My laptop crashed Sunday night. Like blue screen of death, beeping noises, stuff like that. I tried everything I could and could NOT get it to turn back on no matter what I did. So, now I have a new laptop where I am currently writing this.

So what's the problem you say?

My hard drive was completely wrecked. And I don't back this up externally.

Basically, I lost everything. Every single thing I've ever written, some of which was extremely personal and important to me. I also lost all the chapters that I had been working on for all of my fics up here. Suffice it to say, I'm really upset and just worn out by the whole thing.

I think it's going to be a while before I have anything new to post for you all. I was already swamped with work before this, and now I'm just tired and discouraged and it's just a bad situation all around. I hope some of you will patiently stick with me through this whole thing, and still be there when I get my act together again. I know I say it a lot, but it's true: you guys really do make all my writing worth it.

Until next time… whenever that may be,

~Bru


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